I Should Have Been A Nudist

could you come to the mall with me and help me pick out some clothes for College?”That really brought back memories. As I drove along the Interstate to the Mall, I said to my nephew. “Let me tell you about my own fashion experience and just what it really now means to me for someone to value my opinion on clothes.

“It all started many years ago, when I got my first job after graduating high school. Every once in a while I would cross my legs while I was sitting at my desk. There always seemed to be a lot of laughter in the backround whenever I crossed my legs. One day, I got curious and asked. “What was so funny?”This girl sitting at the desk behind me explained that. “I was wearing one black sock and one blue sock again.”

Furthermore she stated. “I was wearing a stripe tie with a stripe shirt.”

When I said. “Whats wrong with that?” The entire office started to erupt with laughter. Thats when I realised that I was a fashion idiot.

When you go to a private school for eight years and wear the same uniform everyday, I guess you can get a little out of touch with what you’re wearing. Compounding that factor, when I went to high school, most of the Kids there had also gone to private grade school and fashion never seemed to be a topic.

There was a near by Sears Department Store, and I guess we thought thats how everyone in America was dressing. Even Babs, a former student there was picked as one of Hollywoods worst dressers. But at the time I was in the School, we were number one scholasticly in the entire nation. So maybe bad fashion can spell academic achievment. But then again, I have to wonder with all the spelling mistakes I make.

Anyway, the girl that was laughing the hardest asked me. “Can I go shopping with you and pick out some clothes that match?”Clothes that matched was really a new concept for me, but I was game. My charge card got quite a workout, but it was worth it and I learned what a body shirt was and my pants seemed a lot snugger than before. She really knew her stuff. It was quite a transformation. Thats when I figured out that the right clothes really do make a difference.

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Now that I was dressed for the world, I started to think about all the places I would love to travel to. Up till that point my furthest trip from New York had been a visit of Washington D.C.

I thought to myself. “My God, I’m getting old. I’m now a High School graduate and I haven’t even left the Country yet.”

Anyway, I started doing the math. I figured on the salary I was making I could afford to go to places like the French Rivera in about twenty years. Too long to wait. I was geting older by the hour. I had to do something drastic. Then I had a brainstorm.

I thought. “If I joined the Navy, I would get to see the World and they would even pay me a few dollars for coming along on the trip. I would save on Air fare and use the Navy ship as sort of a floating Hotel. I could wine and dine at the best places till my money ran out, and then I could fall back again on slumming it at the ships Mess when I had to.

“I figured. “How bad could it be traveling around in a Navy ship?”After all, if I could deal with taking the subway to work everyday, a Navy ship would most likely be a step up for my travel mode.